November 15, 2025

I clutch my date’s hand as we walk down Grote Markt and exchange cute winks and kisses. I feel like I am being watched. Why is this city so straight? Or am I just not hanging out where all the queer people are? We’re the only visibly gay couple on the streets. I’m not used to this feeling after having lived in a gay bubble for the past few years. Is this all in my head? Not the demons of internalised misogyny and homophobia again! Just smile and keep holding her hand, make Sappho proud.

December 20, 2025

Stopped talking to girls. Had other things to do.

January 10, 2026

I’m scared to begin writing my thesis. Also, I stalked my ex today.

January 15, 2026

I had a long day. Did laundry – I hate doing laundry here, it’s so expensive.

Then I came home, lay on my bed and opened Bumble on my phone. The lesbian pool is dead, to put it lightly. Within five minutes, I see the aforementioned girl, another one I already chatted with, and one who said she wasn’t looking for anything after talking to me for over a month. And it doesn’t help that men fill my screen whenever I am on this thing for 20 minutes before I decide to delete the app again.

March 15, 2026

Went shopping at Delhaize. Bought these chocolate eggs. Came back to my room and listened to music.

How many more Girl in Red and Chappell Roan songs can a girl listen to?

Babes, I feel like I’m going through a second puberty…

We fell in love in October, that’s why… except we didn’t. *Oh Hannah, I wanna feel you close…*except Hannah literally doesn’t exist – not even to lie with my bones in my tiny kot!

Desperate times call for desperate playlists.

March 20, 2025

I made myself a delicious cup of tea today. And here I am journaling once again. I have so many things I want to say, I could yell. Geez, that sounds dramatic

March 25, 2026

I think I feel like such a minority here. I miss being able to talk about lesbian issues openly without hesitation, I miss the looks (if you know what I mean), the LOOKS or glances rather…

I even miss the awkward moments like when I’d run into an ex-fling with my then girlfriend at a party, where undoubtedly someone else I knew must have been fucking an ex. I miss the vulnerability with which we opened up our worlds to each other. I miss how we trusted each other with everything, how the heteronormative rules of society didn’t fully apply to us, and how every connection felt homo-sacred, blah blah blah.

April 4, 2026

I saw a lesbian couple at the train station today and stared just long enough for it to look weird, but not too weird that they called me out on my admittedly curious behaviour.

April 5, 2026

I want to see more of this in Leuven.

April 10, 2026

I am craving lesbian extravaganzas!

April 12, 2026

I have been reading Chris Kraus’ I Love Dick these days, an autotheoretical novel. Dick is the name of the man, I text my friend. She is also a lesbian, the friend, I mean.

April 15, 2026

LESBIAN: a woman who loves other women

I wanted to write it down.

April 20, 2026

I miss my gay friends.

I downloaded X today and created a fake profile to stalk a lesbian elder. I love intergenerational lesbian encounters. Except, this has been a pretty one-sided encounter so far, oops.

April 25, 2026

I finally decided to meet fellow dykes here.

This piece was originally published in Issue 1 of the print edition of Ordinary Matters magazine.